At Their Own Time, and In Their Own
Way
(Chapter 13)
INFANTS ALWAYS
DO what they can do—and they should not be expected to do what they are not ready for. At RIE we allow
infants to do what they are ready and willing to do. Every
infant develops according to his or her built-in, predetermined time
schedule. There is a wide gap between the time some
infants sit or stand up, make their first steps, or utter their first
words. There are no later consequences whether an infant starts
to walk or talk very early or very late. Why, then, don't we wait
patiently until it happens naturally? In other words, at the perfect
time.
Natural Gross Motor Development
Every baby
moves with more ease and efficiency if allowed to do it at his own time and in his own way, without our trying to
teach him. A child who has always been allowed to move freely develops
not only an agile body but also good judgment about what
he can and cannot do. Developing good body image, spatial relations,
and a sense of balance helps the child learn not only how
to move but also how to fall and how to recover. Children raised
this way hardly ever have any serious accidents.
Learning by Moving
In many
cultures people have been led to think that, unless infants
are taught, they do not learn. Under the guise of teaching and
caring have come tight swaddling, being tied to boards, being carried
in slings and pouches, placed in infant seats, jumpers or walkers,
being immobilized as well as exercised. (See, On Teaching and Learning,
page 11) The fact that all "normal" children learn
to walk clearly shows their amazing resilience.
There is evidence that gross motor development happens naturally
when an infant has plenty of space to move in a safe, age-appropriate
and challenging environment. However, some people find this hard to believe.
But if you watch babies who are allowed to move freely and without
interference, you will see that they learn to move gracefully
and securely and that, through endless repetition and practice,
they become well balanced. When not interrupted, babies
are totally absorbed in what they are doing. These kinds of sensory experiences are learning and are also a great pleasure
for a parent to watch! A father
who asked me whether he should exercise
his baby or take him to a gym class was intrigued when I
suggested that he imitate all his baby's movements for about one hour
and decide then if his baby needed an additional workout.
Learning to see how infants move also means seeing how adults
knowingly and unknowingly influence their movement. This
is a key to understanding the basic RIE point of view.
The Concept of Readiness
In contrast to our approach, too often I have seen children taught,
encouraged and expected to do what they are basically not
ready to do. Too many infants are propped up when they cannot maintain a well-balanced sitting position, or are given a toy
which they have neither freely chosen nor can freely manipulate.
Similarly, putting infants into devices such as infant seats, walkers,
swings, or bouncers restricts them from moving freely.
Such devices introduce
positions or movements for which the infant
is not yet ready. (See, Equipment:
What is Really Necessary?, page 159)
If infants are
ready to do something, they will do it. In fact, when they are ready, they have
to do it.
When I visit
centers or families, I often feel sad or frustrated because
the children, to my mind, are
doing beautiful things; the adults
say, however, "But why don't they do something?"—and "something"
is always something the children cannot do. When we give a child the message, "If only you would..." or "If
only you wouldn't...,"
that child does not feel okay.
Try to feel you
are that infant: you feel you have to perform, you
have to do, you have to create something. If you are lying peacefully
on your back, then you should be sitting up. Even if you
cannot sit up, you should. You feel that the important people in
your life expect something of you that you cannot deliver. However, a child who cannot sit, cannot sit. Yes, you can prop
pillows around an infant, but that only gives the illusion that he
can sit. Sitting means that the infant has developed through all
the stages from lying to sitting. Learning to sit is different from
sitting. It does not happen the way many people think it does—by first putting a baby into a sitting position so he will learn.
Development Milestones
Research at Loczy1 showed wide variation in development among
normal Hungarian babies who had been allowed to reach milestones
of motor development naturally. For example, it was quite normal for a baby to begin to turn from his back over to his
stomach anywhere from 19 weeks to
39 weeks of age. A baby who
could roll onto his stomach by himself began to play in this position
(requiring holding the head up comfortably and being able
to turn from back to stomach to back again) anywhere from 22
weeks to 41 weeks after birth. The average age range at which babies
began to get themselves into a sitting position was 38 weeks to 16 months, and they began to play comfortably in a
sitting position somewhere between 40 weeks and 16 months. So
you see, the normal range was dramatically wide.
How can we tell whether our expectations are developmentally
appropriate? By observing, accepting and enjoying what the infant
is self-initiating and practicing all by himself.
While there are norms of average development, we should not be
too concerned about them unless an infant is showing many signs
of being "different" from other children of a similar age.
Parents and professionals who wait
for the next and the next "achievement"
sadly miss the miraculous little changes which are occurring
all the time.
1 Loczy (now the Pikler Institute) is
an internationally recognized center of observationally based research on infants. Much of the RIE philosophy
is based on work done at Loczy. (See, Reflections on My Work with
Dr. Pikler, page 185)
RIE: